Sometimes it’s hard to count our blessings. We get blindsided by everyday BS. We get caught up on the things that just aren’t quite the way we’d like them to be. We worry about things outside of our control. We complain about things that don’t deserve so much thought put into. And then something happens and we open our eyes.
Today was one of those days. I woke up at 6:20 am when my monkey 2 cried out for me. I thought, not early waking again. I need to do something about it. Gave him milk, cuddled, fed him breakfast. Heard monkey 1 wake up and go: “ I want cookie”, the same refused request he had gone to bed whining about. Here we go again, another tantrum. Went in to get him, calmed him down as he cried for a cookie, served him breakfast and went on to get ready for my doctor’s appointment. I showered to the screaming cries of Monkey 2 banging on my shower door for “mama mama”. Got dressed and sneaked out of the house without them noticing.
I went on to doctor for a routine yearly check up. Before seeing the doctor I stopped to think, I do hope all is good. Everything seems fine Dr. says. I said my good byes and got on the elevator to go down and leave. And then as the doors opened, I saw in the distance a little child, 2-3, in a hospital gown. Holding on to his IV post, getting on another elevator followed by a nurse and whom I presumed was his father. I only saw the back of this little angel, he had no hair and I thought, cancer. And my heart broke into a million pieces. I felt shattered. Since becoming a mom, I feel such a sense of sadness whenever I see other children sick, in pain, sad or in any way affected. I feel such a hole in my stomach as I write to tell this story and just the thought of it can bring me to tears.
That one scene lasted no more than 5 seconds but that’s all it took to shake me out of my funk. All I wanted to do was go home, hold my boys, kiss them and thank god that my boys are healthy, alive. They can run and jump. They can scream, whine, cry and have tantrums that last for what feels like an eternity. Either for something like a cookie or because their mama is in the shower and they just don’t want to be without me. Thank god, they are not having to fight for their life.
So I hope this little story helps bring some perspective into your life as it did to mine. Sometimes we need something like this to shake us out of our funk. And see the good in life not the negative.
So with a new perspective here is a bit about my morning again.
Today Monkey 2 woke up at 6:30. He just couldn’t wait to come cuddle mama. Gosh, I am lucky that he wants me so much. Thank you god it’s another day that he wakes up and is alive and that he adores me so much. I bring him to bed. Enjoy the cuddle as it is the only moment of the day he will sit still and cuddle in my arms. I close my eyes and treasure this wonderful moment with Monkey 2. I watch him eat and get excited about holding food, touching it. I enjoy his smiley face whenever he gets the spoon inside his mouth or whenever he can get some food on the floor. I am so lucky he has such a strong appetite. I hear Monkey 2 wake up and cry “cookie”; I laugh and think to myself, gosh he can be persistent and stubborn. Who can blame him, I guess he got that from his mama and papa. I get him, show him all the cabinets so he can understand that we don’t have cookies around. He calms down and I let him have some white bread with his eggs. When he is done I treat him to some granola. I give him one he says 2, I let him have both. I shower while Monkey 2 calls for mama. I jump and make silly faces from the shower and tell him I will be out in just a sec. As soon as I am dry I hug and kiss him. I go on to my day and thank god, the universe and all the higher powers for giving me these 2 wonderful boys, so close in age. Who love each other and keep each day as interesting as can be. I think to myself, today is the day. I have everything I need. I am one lucky lucky girl.
And as I head back home, I stop buy Monkey 1 a cookie and know that although Monkey 2 can’t have one yet I will find a way to make him a dairy free soy free oat free yummy treat instead!!